There were times where I had a great intention to do something good, to make changes, to be beneficial for my surroundings, without any personal interest. And turned out, I got lots of things I wasn't even expecting at the beginning such as: experience, achievement, recognition, reputation, appreciation, and the list goes on. It was one of the best moment of my life and I was proud.
Proud. I realized now that "proud" is a dangerous word. If I may confess, being proud is enjoyable. I love the fact the people respected me for the things I had done.
I opened a new chapter of life as an employee. I still had a great intention to do something good, to make changes, and to be beneficial for my surroundings. The only difference was this time I was doing it with some personal interest. I wanted people to know I have a great quality. I wanted to be under the spotlight, at the center of attention. Wanting something like that isn't fully bad though, it pushes yourself to give your best in everything. But maybe I was over-wanting it, and that's where I needed to be stopped.
Long story short, without any luxury to choose, I was placed at this hidden temple. Being inside can be interpreted as "not being under the spotlight, not at the center of attention". Although I've tried my best, the hidden temple still can't be randomly seen. So I can't be seen either. It stressed me out.
After months (almost a year I guess) of contemplation and self introspection, and inspiring discussion with lots of great people, I finally realized that Allah was showing me a way to keep me right on track. If I wasn't placed at the hidden temple, I might have become an arrogant person which it can't be good.
They said life is an endless roller coaster ride and I do agree now. I was at the point where I was so confident facing life after achieving successes. I changed to be a bit self centered and believe it or not it affected my life a lot. I always knew that Allah will always give what's best for me including placing me in the hidden temple. But knowing that theory didn't instantly help me escape from the stress I had. It took almost a year of struggling with my own pride, to kill my own feelings, and to earn all the positivities back, until I was able to accept my condition.
Now that I've (hopefully) passed all the hard times, I can be more grateful to be inside my hidden temple. It made me learn to be okay not always being under the spotlight, at the center of attention. Luckily, the lesson inside this wonderful place made myself to be more humble. I'll keep learning and doing my best. Like I said earlier, life is an endless roller coaster ride, it goes down sometimes, but it will go up again eventually.
Anyway as an announcement (if there are still someone to be announced: the reader of this blog which I doubt would be that many lol), I'm getting more active in soundcloud, making some original songs. For anyone who cares enough to listen may click this link: https://soundcloud.com/bajoked enjoy!
Cheers
(And thanks to my friend BS for editing all the above)
